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Ozone Aug 22, 2010 9:16am

Things that Make You Say 'F My Life' at the Poker Table
Here's a few we thought of. Anyone else got any to add?

killcrazy Aug 22, 2010 2:45pm

this article is worse than an eternity of first year grinders' bad beat stories.

i hope twogun wrote it and your name is merely attached as a discourtesy.


MikeAK47 Aug 22, 2010 3:36pm

Just make sure the battery's charged on your laptop and then you can take it with you to the toilet.

Snaggle Aug 22, 2010 3:57pm

1. Female temper tantrums when deep into a tourney.
2. "I want to go out now" by either the above or a cat when deep into a tourney.
3. women or cats who want attention when one is in the middle of a big hand.

4. an inner nose itch doing a big hand

5. pest phone calls from spammers.
6. Phone calls from relatives or friends during tourneys
7. Blacking out during a big hand
8.Server disconnects during AI hands
9.Thunder storm disconnects during anything.
10. Failing PSU while playing
11.Little girls wanting to play the gummy bear song when you're playing on your PC.
12. Relatives who said repeatedly: "are you broke yet": "they're just letting you win"; "you're just getting lucky" and then trying to get one to give or loan them your bankroll..."but I need it" and what do you mean you had a down swing, I need it!".

cocacoors Aug 22, 2010 5:26pm

Tableninja closes out your table before you see how your aces got cracked.

Boilermaker Aug 22, 2010 7:12pm

Finding out you have a terminal disease and then getting dealt 72o the very next hand.

SwoopAE Aug 22, 2010 8:14pm

Timing out with aces by half a second because you were focused on sizing a bet at one of your other 12 tables

Erick Lindgren jokingly calls you out on having two card protectors; TD happens to be walking by and threatens to give you a time penalty if you don't remove one of them.

Disconnect with 16 left in big MTT. Return to find yourself with 0.5bb and 11 players left.

Friend who doesn't play poker is watching and sees you get coolered. After the hand, he then criticises your play 'because he had aces, you should have folded your kings'

Any time live poker players try and tell you how you misplayed your hand

The lady in the BB tanks for 6 minutes when your openshove of 8bb from the button near the bubble. She then reluctantly calls with queens. She wasn't slowrolling.

Your sit down ready to grind a 12 hour live poker session then realise your Ipod has 3 minutes of charge left

Women who look like they want to cry when you suck out on/bust them in tournaments

Register for $160 HU match. Computer freezes. Reset. Come back to find you have been blinded out.

When Jordan 'Octavian_C' Rich 4-bet bluffs all-in for over 100bb on the flop with total air and makes a runner runner straight to beat your set for the chiplead of the Aruba classic near the bubble.

When you're playing your first WSOP event and with 22 players left, you and your friend are alive with healthy stacks in a 900 player field. Ten minutes later, you're both out.

When the cocktail waitress tells you she'll be right with you and walks off. 40 minutes later, a different cocktail waitress walks past and tells you that you're not in her section but she'll tell the other waitress to come back. Two hours later, you're dehydrated and you haven't seen either cocktail waitress.

When a dealer says 'only $1?' when you tip him.

When your rl friends show up unannounced and ask you to go do something but you're registered in $1300 worth of tournaments. They then get annoyed at you for 'taking so long'.

You're all in preflop with QQ against AK. The flop is Q52. The turn is a J. You know it's coming. The river is a T. FML.

When you misclick-call off 200bb preflop in a sunday major with 74o

When Joe Hachem gets angry at you and berates you when you win a flip against him in a $300 tournament

You have 25% of the chips in play with 32 players left in a live tournament. You go completely card dead and the structure suddenly becomes a crapshoot. You slowly blind out, then your first openshove/reshove gets called by aces and you finish 12th.

PocketJokers Aug 22, 2010 8:45pm

the only thing that would make me say FML at the table is if i want to tilt an opponent.

God knows it tilts me.

VADERPOWER Aug 22, 2010 11:44pm

when u hold :Qs:Js and the flop is :Ks:Ts:3c and u happily call villians allin only to see his :9h:9d hold.:roll:

killcrazy Aug 23, 2010 1:10am

when i said the article was worse than an eternity of first year grinders' bad beat stories, that wasn't an invitation.


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