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Old Aug 08, 2012, 4:35pm   #61
killcrazy
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so you never had one and you are happily married. therefore no one gives a shit how you feel.
no dude, it means he won.

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that is like saying i don't like Back to the Future, i never saw it but i can't stop watching Predator so it is better.
there is some truth to this, but it falters to the reductio ad absurdum; have you ever tried fucking a small child/dog/european woman who doesn't shave? no? then how do you know you like back to the future?

what we can say is that we are all looking for different things. some people desire masturbation by proxy, whereas some want to have an argument about what colour towels to put in the guest bathroom, sunday trips to local sites of minor historical interest, a recitation of everything that happened at her office today, having their taste in music slowly redacted and not being allowed to watch sports without being interrupted.

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Unfortunately i don't know anyone gay to ask
seriously?

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and i doubt anyone on this forum is gay or if someone is, they would say it.
you know what they say. if you can't spot the faggot in your first half hour at the table, then you are the faggot.

Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mm
my sister has some gay friends that i occasionally meet on her birthday parties etc. call me prude but i've never rly wanted to talk about their sex life with them tho.
oh for the love of goth. this is worse than when belua admitted he'd never actually met a jew.

just know that protocol when meeting a bender is exactly the same as meeting a monarch; keep your distance and never turn your back on them.

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how often did you say or hear something like: "hey, do you want to come up to my appartment for a coffee?" i mean she knows you're not coming cuz you crave for some hot beverage, and you know it's bs too. but (usually) you can't just say to a girl: "hey, let's go to my appartment and fuck like crazy" but i'd imagine that could totally work among two men.
firstly, coffee is an aphrodisiac; caffeine is a stimulant, and the temperature of the drink and its vapour cause vasodilation of the pulmanory system and dermal capillaries increasing oxygenation of the blood and giving people that appealing rosy glow respectively. you can read more about this in my book "making up sciencey sounding shit about fucking to get you to give me $10"

the code is an essential part of the human mating ritual. it's like how when you go to buy weed you should always take a sock from the bottom of your laundry basket, which you can stuff into your pocket on top of the gear to mask the smell. also insist on dry grass, and know the difference between crystals and mold.

while weed can be graded based on visual inspection, cocaine and heroin require heat testing. cocaine sublimates when exposed to heat, and generally does so at a higher temperature than whatever it is cut with; the higher the temperature necessary to vaporise it, the purer it is. conversely heroin can be graded on aroma, with higher quality skag smelling slightly sweet like a bag of skittles or an ice cream cake and lower grade horse smelling a lot like a horse.

if you buy ecstasy in a club, most of the time what you're getting is low grade speed mixed with a mild opiate like codeine. know that mdma is almost totally soluable in alcohol, binding with ethanol to form di-ethyloxymethamphetamine, whereas opiates will leave a residue.

true lsd will glow slightly under a black light, however it's become convention to market all liquid/tab halucinogenics as "acid" regardless of the active ingredient. your best bet is to just take it, and if it doesn't have the desired effect punch the dealer in his stupid bunny face with your newly acquired vishnufists.

Kc
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Old Aug 08, 2012, 9:51pm   #62
PocketJokers
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Originally Posted by PocketJokers View Post
so you never had one and you are happily married. therefore no one gives a shit how you feel.
no dude, it means he won.

what i said was harsh, i should have said "well, you rarely had the opportunity unlike most of us did". Or "maybe you never considered it due to your long term relationships"


Quote:
that is like saying i don't like Back to the Future, i never saw it but i can't stop watching Predator so it is better.
there is some truth to this, but it falters to the reductio ad absurdum; have you ever tried fucking a small child/dog/european woman who doesn't shave? no? then how do you know you like back to the future?

what we can say is that we are all looking for different things. some people desire masturbation by proxy, whereas some want to have an argument about what colour towels to put in the guest bathroom, sunday trips to local sites of minor historical interest, a recitation of everything that happened at her office today, having their taste in music slowly redacted and not being allowed to watch sports without being interrupted.

True, i just thought all of us would A. be too shy to attempt a one nighter B. Tried and Failed C. Tried and succeeded or D. weren't looking for such a thing. with D being the least popular answer. According to this thread D. is not so unpopular it seems.

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Unfortunately i don't know anyone gay to ask
seriously?

yeah, white suburbanite with boring friends/family i guess.

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and i doubt anyone on this forum is gay or if someone is, they would say it.
you know what they say. if you can't spot the faggot in your first half hour at the table, then you are the faggot.

fuck

Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mm
my sister has some gay friends that i occasionally meet on her birthday parties etc. call me prude but i've never rly wanted to talk about their sex life with them tho.
oh for the love of goth. this is worse than when belua admitted he'd never actually met a jew.

just know that protocol when meeting a bender is exactly the same as meeting a monarch; keep your distance and never turn your back on them.

lol

Kc
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Old Aug 09, 2012, 12:01am   #63
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Unfortunately i don't know anyone gay to ask
seriously?

yeah, white suburbanite with boring friends/family i guess.
what does being white have to do with anything? why don't you go find an enormous black dude and tell him that in your opinion a disproportionate number of african americans are homosexual, see which one of our implied stereotypes kicks your face in.

suburbanite? you think fags can't afford to live in poorly constructed mcmansions in gated communities because they spend all their money on tofu and body glitter?

and boring? what, gaybos can't be tiresome and disinteresting? they can't read the economist and spend all evening trying to tell you about things they saw in spy films? no they have to be fabulous and gregarious and occasionally burst into tears because the creme brulee is just divine.

there should be a mccarthyism joke here, "sausage jockeys have infiltrated the universities, military and government at all levels" that sort of thing, but it turned out to be much harder to write than i expected and ultimately i couldn't be arsed.

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Old Aug 09, 2012, 5:12am   #64
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but think about it (well not the sex...unless that's something you're into of course), but how often did you say or hear something like: "hey, do you want to come up to my appartment for a coffee?" i mean she knows you're not coming cuz you crave for some hot beverage, and you know it's bs too. but (usually) you can't just say to a girl: "hey, let's go to my appartment and fuck like crazy" but i'd imagine that could totally work among two men.

lol this cracked me up. hahaha. philosoraptor anyone?
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Old Aug 09, 2012, 10:05am   #65
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Old Aug 10, 2012, 6:41am   #66
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Old Aug 10, 2012, 10:58am   #67
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