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Old Apr 25, 2006, 8:49am   #1
XA_kid
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Default I Am an Idiot

If anyone has been reading my blog, you will know that I sometimes take stupid risks and play a level or 2 above my bankroll and then tilt if I run bad. This is a real big leak in my game and while I have been able to maintain a steady profit besides it, I feel sick thinking about it. I've lost $12,000 this year because of it. And yes, I do realize that is a LOT of money. That is my rent money for 18 months. That is my tuition. That is me paying off my student loans (or at least half of them). That is a decent used car. Luckily I am very good at bouncing back and rebuilding, but I almost did it again tonight.

I am trying the balance the cool logic needed for poker with good gambling instincts, but sometimes the gambling side takes over.

The reason I posted this was as a warning to other players. Bankroll management is the toughest thing for a poker player and you have to be ever vigilant or you can self destruct. You see it happening all the time (Matusaw for one) and as much as I like the guy, I don't want to be the guy.

Thanks for listening guys, this has been real nice for me to verbalize what I think my biggest weakness is. Back to your regularly scheduled program of bad beats.
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Old Apr 25, 2006, 8:57am   #2
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Not a nice thing to hear about man.

But you re old enough and play Poker so much longer than me, so there is no advice you d take from me. 12k is a lot of Monkey, so here, regardless if you listen / read / take it for serious:

STOP THAT GAMBLING ABOVE YOUR BANKROLL !


Boy i hope i can take my own advices Serious one day.
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Old Apr 25, 2006, 11:22am   #3
Iestyn75
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Confession is good for the soul, or so they say. I certainly think it good for the poker player - without identifying one's own weaknesses, and calling them by name, you sure as hell ain't going to rid yourself of them.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who identifies with your habit (though in my case, my worst excesses of tilt have been with other forms of gambling, chasing losses on horses and such like). Good luck in your efforts; write DISCIPLINE in bright bold letters above your computer screen. Or whatever it takes.
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Old Apr 25, 2006, 11:44am   #4
SidMaynard
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What happens when you go up a level XA_? Do you start playing badly because you know you're in over your head and your bankroll can't take it, or is the competition that much better?
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Old Apr 25, 2006, 12:42pm   #5
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I am also guilty of this. I'll play in a 100 dollar sit and go when I'm down to my last 300 (I've never really built my bankroll since I've used most of the money I've won to pay for rent, food, text books) Instead of rebuilding I take stupid risks that sometimes pay off and other times don't. I've been busted a couple times and left to think about how stupid I was for playing way above my head. I have never put myself in any sort of debt but I fear I've stunted my poker development by playing above my head. The highest I've ever built my roll to be was a meager 2000, but if I played smart I could have twice that much. Also last summer, when poker was my only real income I was playing well above my head and if I busted then, God I'd have been screwed. (though back then I knew a lot less about bankroll management)
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Old Apr 25, 2006, 6:30pm   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SidMaynard
What happens when you go up a level XA_? Do you start playing badly because you know you're in over your head and your bankroll can't take it, or is the competition that much better?
It's more of that I end up sitting next the idiot/maniac because I do practice table selection when I do this, but then I get outdrawn on a few times by him and I just end up losing it. By losing it, I mean going on 60BB downswings. Sometimes I climb back, sometimes I don't. It becomes pure frustration more than anything else and that hurts when you are out of your bankroll. And since I am usually playing higher limit games than I can afford and not NL, it is easier to tilt.

I was just going over my records last night a bit drunk and got depressed about this and felt the need to share this with you guys, tough I guess it really does more belong in my journal. Thanks for listening guys.
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Old Apr 25, 2006, 7:49pm   #7
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I'm pretty conservative/logical with my bankroll. When I started playing online last August, I'd win small and bust out completely by moving up after a loss. It took me about 6 months to realize that I was wasting my time, talent and profits.

Now I never play any game (for experiment or not) unless I have 25 buyins (NL) or 500 Big Bets (Limit). I haven't tilted at all during my downswings since I started that plan.
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Old Apr 25, 2006, 8:07pm   #8
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I wrote a thread on 2+2 about this same issue.

Basically it said that there are lots of players out there capable of turning a profit, yet they lose because they simply cannot play within their bankroll.

Have you ever heard of the Peter Principle?
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Old Apr 25, 2006, 8:24pm   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Butcho22
I wrote a thread on 2+2 about this same issue.

Basically it said that there are lots of players out there capable of turning a profit, yet they lose because they simply cannot play within their bankroll.

Have you ever heard of the Peter Principle?
Links PLZ!

ETA- I did some browsing on 2+2, that forum is complete shit. Unless there is a way to view an entire thread instead of one post at a time... Who the fuck can stand to read that way?
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Old Apr 25, 2006, 8:45pm   #10
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A "Yes dad!" post but....

Be careful XA, it is clear from your posts here that you are a hell of a player but your post could easily be a first step on the path to a serious gambling problem if you don't go the right way with this. That is no way to be, and I trust that you are stronger than that.

I'm pretty sure I have read a post you made where you pointed out that money in the pot is not yours anymore, and perhaps you already see the parellels with your situation and maybe I am "teaching grandma to suck eggs" but just incase, I thought I would bring it to the forefront of your mind

Good luck for the future.
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