Things that Make You Say 'F My Life' at the Poker Table

THE WEEKLY SHUFFLE, 2010-08-22, by Ozone, TwoGun

Here are some things that might compel you to say "f my life" at the poker table. Got a few of your own? Share them on our poker forums.

Realizing that you forgot to charge your cell phone the night before.

You're in a tournament with about 15 big blinds. Suddenly, you have a sharp pain in your abdominal area. You need to take a dump real bad. Next break is in 90 minutes.

You notice that you timed out with Aces while answering the pizza guy at the door.

The dealer has a hotter girlfriend on the rail than you.

The cocktail waitress spills her tray on you.

You have a lot of chips at the table and are king of the world. You're flirting with the waitress and feel like a huge high roller. You're about to muster up the confidence to ask for her out on a date, and she's about 3 minutes away from your table. You lose all of your chips on the next hand and have to leave.

You left your ID in the room.

You get dealt pocket aces and lean back to think about what to do. Suddenly, the guy next to you mucks his hand and, when doing so, throws his cards on top of your cards by accident. Call at the table is to muck both hands.

You play for fourteen hours straight and are down two bets but still know, deep in your heart, that you won't be able to break even for that day if you keep playing.

Tiffany Michelle calls the clock on you.

Your tablemates nickname you "girly man".

You sit down to play against a really drunk guy and it turns out he's still better than you anyway.

Tableside service.

Your own brother knocks you out of one of the biggest final tables of your life.

You confuse that 4 for another Ace before calling all-in.

Rake.

You draw a table change in between two 400 pound dudes who haven't showered in a few days.

Superstitious dealers.

After calling a guy's all-in, you see that not only does he have you beat, but he also has a stack of high denomination chips you didn't know were there when you called.

You pee your pants waiting for your opponent to act after your all-in bluff.

The Weekly Shuffle is our Sunday column with our observations and commentary on the poker world. Have an idea for an article? Leave a suggestion on the feedback page.