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Old Apr 13, 2006, 5:29pm   #1
SidMaynard
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Default Realising your are on tilt - a confessional

Ok, so I've been playing for about 6 months now, and really starting to feel like I'm turning into an ok player. I've cashed out a few times and built a nice bankroll of about 25 buy-ins at $25NL.

A few weeks ago I joined Bodog to take advantage of their sign-up bonus. Everything was going great, I cleared the $100 bonus in three weeks and had won about $200 on the tables. I was playing well, winning big pots with my big hands, making some good steals, throwing in a few bluffs, winning with my c-bets, drawing out with good odds. Life was preeety good.

This week the world turned upside down. Suddenly I'm at the wrong end of a violent downswing and down 6 buy-ins.

How did that happen?

It all started at a ring table a couple of days ago. I had been playing well and had doubled my buy-in. Then the table went shorthanded, and one of the players turned into a maniac. I always have problems playing super aggressives, and true to form he was pushing everyone around making big bets on every street. Just as I was thinking it was time to move and was looking in the lobby for a full table I hit a good hand.

Everyone limped in, including me with A6o. Flop hits A46 rainbow. I'm first to go, so I check knowing the maniac will bet. He does, I raise him about 1/5 times his bet. Turn brings a 2. I bet about half the pot, he raise for about 2/3 of my stack. I push all-in. He turns over 35s for a str8.

Ok, so looking back I can see my mistake. I gave him odds for the str8 draw and should have pushed on the flop. But he had got to me and I wanted all his chips, so greed made me slow play and there is todays lesson.

No big deal I thought, I can see my mistake - learn it and move on.

But suddenly, lady luck had turned her back on me. Now my Queens are always up against Ax and the flop hits. My rockets get busted by a str8 draw, my Kings get busted by a flush draw, trip 6s and trip 8s get busted by str8s despite pot sized bets.

I take so many bad beats in two days I start seeing ghosts under the bed at night. I lay down AK 2-pair because the guy goes all-in and I convince myself he must have pocket A or K and hit trips - he turns over AQ. I lay down pocket Q because a guy check-raises me all-in on a flop of rags and I see Kings or Aces and he turns over pocket 6. Suddenly I am scared to bet my AK as everyone keeps calling my c-bets. It's like they can smell my fear.

This goes on for three days. I keep telling myself to tighten up, keep it simple and get back to basics. I keep telling myself that the luck will even itself out and I can play my way out of the downswing and get my bankroll back.

Until this morning.

I get pocket K in mid position and raise 5xBB. I get two callers - shortstack on the button and small blind. Flop comes 79T with two spades. SB makes a tiny probe bet. I think maybe pair, maybe str8 or flush draw so I bet the pot. Shortstack raises all-in for another half the pot, I'm not worried about that as he will push with any pair at this point. SB re-raises him. So I go back to the board. OK he may have hit trips, or he may have TP flush draw, but there is no way he called 5xBB with J8, I said THERE IS NO WAY HE CALLED 5xBB WITH J8.

Is there?

In my gut I know I am beat. He must have trips or the str8 to be that aggressive. But I can't help myself. I can't believe my Kings have been outdrawn again, I just can't let go. My fingers have gone white I am gripping them so hard. I reach for the all-in button. He turns over J8o for the str8.

Another buy-in drifts away.

That's when it hit me. I am definately on tilt. Bad cards is one thing, bad play is something else.

I don't mind the money so much (although of course it hurts) but the boderline gambling-addict response worries me a little. It is amazing what you can convince yourself of when under stress.

So time to do something else for a while, maybe re-read Harrington on Hold Em.

Thanks for reading this, I just wanted to get it off my chest and I can't tell the girlfriend. She will just roll her eyes and suggest that maybe I stop playing and I don't want to give her any more ammunition.

Sid.
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Old Apr 13, 2006, 5:52pm   #2
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Rest easy man. I think you're doing the right thing. Enjoy the break and come back better for it.
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Old Apr 13, 2006, 6:10pm   #3
b_money84
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That's rough man

I think many of us have been there at one point or another though. There were times when I would drop 4-5 buyins at 100NL in a few hours if I had a couple bad beats then went on tilt as a result.

I know what you mean with the J8o straight cracking your kings, and how you can't believe someone would dare play the one hand that has you beat.

I've had AA or KK before and raised 10xBB preflop only to get called by A3o and get a flop of 335, thinking to myself that its a great flop and noone in their right mind would ever, EVER, consider playing a 3 into a 10xBB pot. Didn't take me long to find out that what I consider illogical isn't so for someone else. Sometimes you just have to set logic aside and realize that some people are stupid, ignorant and crazy and that anything is possible in this game.

Just follow through with your plan. Take some time off, get things together, don't worry or think about your lost buy-ins and how upset you are to have lost your cool. You'll be able to rebuild your bankroll through time and patience, and you'll probably come out a better player from this in the longrun.
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Old Apr 13, 2006, 9:22pm   #4
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I take so many bad beats in two days I start seeing ghosts under the bed at night. I lay down AK 2-pair because the guy goes all-in and I convince myself he must have pocket A or K and hit trips -


know that feeling. very hard to turn back to normal play without some pausing
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Old Apr 14, 2006, 1:55am   #5
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i think everyone goes thru this kind streak...i've checked down a nut full house before cuz i was sure the guy was slowplaying quads...that funk completely destroyed my bankroll...and a big part of it was not exibiting the type of selfawareness you are...take a break...come back strong
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Old Apr 14, 2006, 3:26am   #6
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Taking a break is a good idea. You'll come back stronger. Good luck.
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